I've been helping at a youth group in Milwaukee, and this wednesday I am speaking. so here it is:
So, where to begin?
I'm Krista, I'm 22 years old.
I grew up in portland, with my Mom, Dad and Sister, and had a pretty normal life. I was raised in a christian home, and when I was pretty young, I decided that I was going to give God my life and my plans for my life. I was baptised at around 9 years old and continue to rededicate my life to him.
Growing up, I had a really rocky, sometimes pain-filled relationship with my Dad, and almost always felt like an outsider when it came to socializing. Even though I had friends, I still felt like i was really different. This was a hard thing for me, I couldn't really understand how effortless it was for people my age to make friends, to find things to talk about, and things like that.
In Middle School, my family and I moved to a different part of portland/gresham area. I was new to school, and pretty much an outcast. I was teased for stupid things like how I wore my hair, wearing clothes that weren't "cool" and stuff like that. It was at that time I started really investing my time in church. I made friends with another girl, who at the time was far different than I was, to be honest, we really didn't like each other at first, but my mom and this girl played foursquare every week at youth group and my mom thought we should be friends, and we were kinda forced into it. Looking back, It was a gift from God, She became my best friend all through middle and highschool, she's still one of my closest friends.
I almost felt like I was living a double life, at School I was a loser, and outside of school, I had friends, the more time I spent at church, the more meaningful relationships I built. In Highschool, to avoid the same pain from happening again, I kept to myself. It was really hard to get to know me, I hardly talked at all during schooltimes. In 10th grade I joined a program the church I grew up in called "A12" which stood for "after the 12" as in, the 12 diciples. In that program we grew spiritually, relationally and I really starting getting a hunger for all God has to offer. I'd always been close to God, I prayed all the time, even before I joined A12. My mom and dad taught me that talking to God should be like talking to your best friend, and that, to me, was the best way to really feel free and open to talk to God.
Towards the end of highschool, and certainly after, My life had transformed into something I actually enjoyed, though church programs, camps, and building those strong friendships, I became I more outgoing person, though sometimes shy, I have met and kept new friendships going. I learned to "let go, and let God". To have that comfort of just knowing that there is someone who loves you no matter what, and to REALLY understand what that means, not just hearing all the time that jesus loves you, but to actually internalize that, and make it part of your outlook on yourself, it really changes you. God doesn't care if you're a size 2, or a size 102, he's after your heart. psalm 139, verse 13 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Throughout the rough times, I always have to remind myself that God loves me, and has a wonderful plan for my life. As I've grown in Christ, I've had so much hurt undone, My dad and I have a better relationship than we've ever had, I have wonderful friends, I even had the boldness to talk to a cute guy, who turned out later to be my husband. which I would have never had the courage to before.
We can't always control the circumstances in our lives, in proverbs 16 verse 33 it says33 "The dice are thrown, but the LORD determines every outcome."but we can let go, and let God be God, Believe me, I am still learning this lesson daily!
